Ask for the praise first (feedback sandwich)
To make criticism bearable with RSD, ask explicitly: 'first tell me what you love, let me dwell in it, then the notes' — or sandwich the critique between two praises.
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Front-loading positives buffers the visceral RSD blow, so the critique can land without immobilising you. Instead of taking notes cold, ask people explicitly: ‘first tell me everything you love about it, let me dwell in that for a moment — and only then let’s talk about the rest’.
In practice: ask for the order positives → a pause to absorb them → critique, or the classic praise-note-praise sandwich. This isn’t softness, it’s a way to actually let the feedback reach you instead of freezing you.
Helps with
Resources & links
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What the research says
Scientific grade verified against the literature. No entries = no direct studies (graded from mechanism/experience).
- Feedback sandwiches affect perceptions but not performanceRCT · 2013
- Sandwich feedback: The empirical evidence of its effectiveness (review)review · 2020
- The Rightful Demise of the Sh*t Sandwich: Providing Effective Feedbackreview · 2019
- The lived experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD - a qualitative exploration (citing Babinski et al.)cohort study · 2025