The switch question: stimulant or relaxant?
Before reaching for porn, ask: is it a stimulant or a relaxant for me? Diagnosing the need lets you swap in a better solution that serves the same function — and build an 'if triggered, then…' plan.
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Porn usually serves as self-medication, so ask yourself (after Dr Tamara Rosier): what is it doing for you — stimulating or calming? (1) If it’s a stimulant — a kick out of a flatline — next time ask: what’s a better way to get stimulation? (a walk, calling a friend, an engaging book). (2) If it’s a relaxant — when you’re ‘wired but tired’ and porn gives a point of focus and calm — ask: what’s a better way to relax? (meditation, a walk, a friend who calms you down). Note: the same activity can do different things depending on context (one friend calms you, another winds you up) — choose deliberately for the need. The practice: for a week, on every urge ask ‘what do I need — a stimulant or a relaxant, and what’s a better solution?’. After a week you know porn’s dominant role and a list of alternatives that work — turn that into a preemptive ‘if triggered, then…’ plan so the response is automatic.
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Resources & links
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What the research says
Scientific grade verified against the literature. No entries = no direct studies (graded from mechanism/experience).
- A Meta-Analysis of Functional Communication Training for Young Children with ASD and Challenging Behavior in Natural Settingsmeta-analysis · 2025
- A Meta-Analytic Review of Functional Communication Training Across Mode of Communication, Age, and Disabilitymeta-analysis · 2015
- Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Substance Use Disorders (functional analysis + coping skills components)review · 2010
- Treatments and interventions for compulsive sexual behavior disorder with a focus on problematic pornography use: a preregistered systematic reviewreview · 2022