Method

Role-model therapy, don't push it

You can't force another person into therapy — they have to choose it, or it won't work. Instead of pushing, role-model the behaviour (go yourself) and work on what you can control: you. Resistance ('all therapists are mad') usually means 'I don't feel safe yet', not 'win me over with a better argument'.

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Therapy only works when the person feels safe and chooses it. Defence mechanisms like ‘therapists are all mad’ signal ‘I’m not ready yet’, not a knowledge gap to be filled with an argument. Trying to control whether someone (a partner, parent, adult child) goes to therapy usually just hardens the resistance.

Redirect your energy from ‘how do I convince them’ to what you actually control — yourself. Go to therapy and work on your own topics. In doing so you role-model the behaviour: you show it’s safe and normal, without lecturing. Often that’s what lowers the threshold, and the decision comes later, of their own accord.

Helps with

Resources & links

1 source

Roxanne Pink
- 1:29:51 Rox Pink confronts psychologist over childhood trauma (you can't control them — role-model therapy)

What the research says

Scientific grade verified against the literature. No entries = no direct studies (graded from mechanism/experience).

What the grade means

A A — strongest evidence: meta-analyses or RCTs directly confirm it works (or, for diagnostic tools, strong validation of accuracy).

B B — good evidence: a single RCT, or a strong mechanism with supporting studies.

C C — weak / preliminary: a plausible mechanism, but few direct, controlled tests.

D D — no evidence: theory or isolated anecdotes, no studies.

Applies to: ADHD Autism AuDHD