Name your inner critic as a character
Externalize the inner critic as a named character (e.g. 'Critical Kelvin'), recognize it formed as a protective coping mechanism, then thank it and gently disagree — 'I know you sound like a jerk, but you're trying to keep me safe; thank you, but I think you're wrong'. Treat it with kindness instead of fighting or silencing it.
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The inner critic typically develops from years of negative criticism as a protective survival response — its harshness is a clumsy attempt to keep you safe. Fighting it or trying to silence it keeps you fused with it; externalizing it works better. Picture the critic as a separate, named character on your shoulder (giving it a name and a persona, e.g. ‘Critical Kelvin’ or ‘Anxious Amy’), which lets you relate to it rather than be it.
When self-critical thoughts arise, acknowledge the character’s protective intent and then disagree warmly: ‘Hey, I know you sound like a jerk, but you’re just trying to help me, you’re trying to keep me safe. Thank you — but I think you’re wrong.’ Treating it with kindness rather than counter-attack defuses it without the self-hatred that fuels more shame. This is a relating-to-the-part move, distinct from rewriting your self-talk into a kinder narrative — here the point is to keep the critic as a separate voice you can thank and overrule.