Live with the loss instead of 'getting over it'

Prospective study of bereaved individuals found acceptance, not the stage sequence, predominated from the start; the rigid stage model with a fixed resolution timeline is not empirically supported, and grief trajectories vary widely. Supports rejecting a societally imposed 'get over it in 3 months' norm — but concerns death-bereavement, not ADHD-diagnosis grief.

Resilience — a stable trajectory of healthy functioning — is the most common outcome after loss (~majority of bereaved), with high variability and no obligatory stages or timeline. Indirectly supports normalizing a non-standard grief course, but is a bereavement-after-death literature, not tested on late-diagnosis grief.

Maintaining a transformed bond with the loss ('continuing bonds') rather than full detachment is not inherently pathological and can be adaptive — but the evidence is mixed: symbolic/abstract bonds tend to aid resolution while concrete bonds can mark unresolved/prolonged grief. Quantitative support is limited and context-dependent.

Clinical and lived-experience writing frames grief after late ADHD diagnosis as normal and recommends processing/integrating rather than rushing it. This is the only literature addressing the exact target — but it is narrative/anecdotal, with no controlled or empirical test of the 'live with the loss vs. get over it' method.