Leave at orange, not red
Leaving an event itself costs energy — saying goodbyes, navigating, getting stopped on the way out. So leave while you still have reserve ('orange'), not once you're already drained ('red'). If you can't sense the threshold, use a concrete external cue instead.
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The act of leaving is not free. Saying goodbyes, getting your things, navigating the room, and getting interrupted on the way out all cost cognitive and emotional energy — energy you won’t have if you wait until you’re completely drained. So the move is to leave while you still have some reserve: stop when you hit ‘orange’, not when you’re already at ‘red’. Leaving with capacity left avoids the graceless, melting-down exit.
Many neurodivergent people can’t reliably feel their own fatigue threshold, so ‘leave when you feel done’ fails. Substitute a concrete, external trigger that doesn’t depend on interoception — for example, ‘be the third-to-last person to leave’, or set a hard time. An objective rule replaces the missing internal ‘time to go’ signal. And don’t push to stretch your comfort zone when you’re already outside it (overcrowded, under-slept, off meds) — that’s the moment to leave or downsize to a small group, not to force more exposure.
Helps with
- SymptomPeople drain me, and afterwards I'm wreckedC · weak / preliminary
- SymptomI run out of energy long before the day is doneC · weak / preliminary
- SymptomNoise, light, and crowds physically overwhelm meC · weak / preliminary
- MechanismImpaired interoception (delayed body signals)C · weak / preliminary
