Method

Friction audit: which traits actually get in the way

'Normality' only matters where a trait creates FRICTION. A hairdryer on for 2h a day only costs the bill — irrelevant; sensitivity that wrecks relationships and work — relevant. Spend your energy on the friction traits.

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Normality is better judged per individual trait than per whole person — and only where the trait creates real friction. A hairdryer on for two hours a day costs, at most, whoever pays the electricity bill, so it doesn’t matter. But sensitivity that wrecks relationships or makes work impossible — that does matter.

In practice: go through your traits one by one and ask of each: ‘does this create real friction (relationships, work, harm)?’. If not — accept it and don’t waste energy on it. If yes — that’s where to direct effort, while also asking ‘is it me or the world?’. This protects you from fixing harmless differences and lets you focus resources where it actually hurts.

Helps with

Resources & links

2 sources

What the research says

Scientific grade verified against the literature. No entries = no direct studies (graded from mechanism/experience).

What the grade means

A A — strongest evidence: meta-analyses or RCTs directly confirm it works (or, for diagnostic tools, strong validation of accuracy).

B B — good evidence: a single RCT, or a strong mechanism with supporting studies.

C C — weak / preliminary: a plausible mechanism, but few direct, controlled tests.

D D — no evidence: theory or isolated anecdotes, no studies.

Applies to: ADHD Autism AuDHD