Find the function of the emotion, then name it
Instead of treating emotions as enemies, ask what each one is protecting you from (e.g. resentment held you back from shouting at your boss). Pair it with 'name it to tame it': labelling the feeling (a feelings wheel helps) calms the amygdala.
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Emotions, even hard ones, have a protective function — understanding it turns them from ‘enemies’ into allies. When a painful emotion arises (resentment, anxiety, irritation), ask: ‘what is this protecting me from / pushing me to do?’. Resentment may have held you back from something dangerous, like shouting at your boss; irritability and unease in ADHD often keep the brain activated, because without some arousal it simply disengages. The second step is ‘name it to tame it’ (Dr Dan Siegel): merely labelling the emotion (‘this is envy’) immediately lowers its temperature, because it links the prefrontal language centers to the amygdala and calms it. Useful tool: a feelings wheel — when flooded, look at it and name the specific feeling.
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Resources & links
3 sourcesWhat the research says
Scientific grade verified against the literature. No entries = no direct studies (graded from mechanism/experience).
- Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli (Lieberman et al.)study · 2007
- Effectiveness of affect labelling as an emotion regulation strategy in individuals with high emotional reactivity: a systematic reviewreview · 2026
- Affect labeling and reappraisal as an emotion regulation strategy (Affective Science)study · 2026
- Alexithymia is frequent in ASD and ADHD and underlies emotion-dysregulation/anger symptomsreview · 2023