Check the comparison, not just the criticism
Ego is anything that compares you to another person — and flattery that ranks you above someone else is ego too, a hidden source of suffering despite feeling good. Treat comparative praise with the same caution as criticism, and let awareness step in after an automatic reaction to defuse it.
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A useful definition of ego (‘ahamkara’): anything that compares you to another person. By that test, comparative praise — ‘you’re so much better than X’ — is ego just as much as criticism is, and although it feels pleasurable it burrows in ‘like a worm’ and later distorts how you process feedback. So treat ranking-based flattery with the same caution as a jab: notice the comparison and don’t let it build your sense of self.
The reason this matters is that a strong I-feeling fuses the self with your output: when ego is strong, a criticism of your work gets felt as an attack on you as a person, you ‘inject yourself’ into their critique, and you react defensively. Separating ‘they criticized the content’ from ‘they criticized me’ is the antidote.
Ego and self-awareness sit at opposite ends of a spectrum — the more egotistical, the less self-aware, and the more self-aware, the less your old reactive ‘programming’ runs you. Awareness can step in after an automatic reaction and defuse it; raising your baseline awareness shrinks how much the conditioned response controls you, so when a reaction fires, let awareness notice it and watch the trail of thought before it escalates.
