Ask which neurotype, so you can calibrate
'Neurodivergent' is an umbrella spanning autism, ADHD, AuDHD and more — profiles whose traits can be diametrically opposed, so one generic accommodation approach fails. When someone tells you they're neurodivergent, ask what specific flavour, and ask directly about their needs (including communication needs) rather than inferring them. Specificity is what lets you actually adjust.
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Treating ‘neurodivergent’ as a single profile guarantees mis-accommodation, because the umbrella covers wiring with opposing traits — an autistic need for sameness and predictability sits right next to an ADHD pull toward novelty, and the same generic adjustment can help one and hurt the other. So the practical courtesy, when someone discloses that they’re neurodivergent, is to ask what specific flavour they are, so you know how to interact and can adjust accordingly — switching your approach to fit. This isn’t nosiness; it’s the difference between a useful accommodation and a useless one. Two guardrails keep it respectful. Don’t infer the neurotype (or anything else) from appearance — intersectional and high-masking profiles are invisible from the outside, so assumptions misfire. And don’t stop at the label: ask directly about their actual needs, including their communication needs, rather than assuming a diagnosis dictates them. The same discipline applies to pronouns and support needs — default to asking, not guessing. Specificity, gathered by asking, is what turns good intentions into an adjustment that actually fits the person in front of you.
