Boom-and-bust relationship cycle

At the start of a relationship the ADHD/AuDHD person gets an intense dopamine hit from novelty (the reward system, not endorphins) and hyperfixates on the partner — 10/10 energy that from the outside reads as love-bombing (though it’s not intentional). That intensity sets the partner’s expectations at a constant level. Then the hyperfixation typically fades (the ‘bust’ phase) and the partner — still on a neurotypical relationship trajectory — experiences the drop as a shock and as withdrawal. This is a pattern widely described clinically, though still under-researched in peer-reviewed literature. You can’t ‘ration’ that first bloom, but knowing it’s a repeating pattern (over-involvement, then cooling) lets you name it and consciously work to hold the bond instead of letting it die.